It's not too often we experience a moment in life that changes us forever. I had such moment last evening. Let me start by saying I am not a writer, nor a professional photographer, but after being allowed to volunteer and help with the Ladybugs of San Joaquin's annual prom for developmentally disabled young adults,I felt the need to express and share my thoughts and photos surrounding this event.
This post and photos are not perfect but this night was certainly not about perfection. It is simply a reminder of what life is really all about. I had originally planned on just helping my friend Karyn with the prom photos, it turned out to be so much more.
The day started early with decorations, backdrops, tablecloths, and all things "Oooo La La Paris" themed. I watched as dedicated teachers and volunteers transformed the Stockton Golf and Country Club into a masterpiece. Nothing was spared. Everything was in place right done to the linen napkins and Prom King and Queen sashes and crowns.
We all trickle out to go home and get ourselves ready for Prom. "Meet back here at 5:15." And we did, not a moment too soon. In all the excitement the guests arrive early. There is check-in and line up for photos first.
I watched as proud parents stood in line for their moment to snap a cell phone photo of their kids. I couldn't help but notice how well behaved everyone was as the line grew longer and longer. No arguing, no impatience, just eager young people waiting to have the evenings memories captured forever. Tammy, prom poser extraordinaire, gently and carefully, unbuttons jackets, and places sometimes crippled little hands in pockets, and slowly removes fingers from one young mans ears. "back up just a little, no this way, turn right, no this right." Good job Tammy! There are wheelchairs to be maneuvered, walkers to be adjusted and the magic moment. "say cheese".
Again it wasn't about perfection. There wasn't always the big grinned toothy smile we are used to, but the eyes, the eyes held the joy. As the photos of Cinderella dresses with Nike tennis shoes and Tuxes with Vans were snapped, the guests were pointed toward the room where the festivities would begin. "Choose a seat anywhere you'd like." Some sat with classmates, others sat with new friends, and here I noticed,there were no strangers. These kids attend different schools or programs from all over the county and yet they acted as though they knew everyone in the room. There were no cliques, no division of race, just prom guests, together. It was here the parents were asked to leave. That's right, no parents to tend to their child's special needs, tonight they are on their own. I expected chaos. I was never more wrong. Plenty of volunteers and young adults (called Peers) were everywhere to help out.
From posing in photos when a guest didn't want to pose alone to pointing guests in the right direction, I was moved at their willingness to help. the night proceeded like any other prom.
Ok maybe a sippy cup at a table where a regular glass cannot be handled or a volunteer dabbing at some drool, but besides these minor differences it was prom.
I stand back and I watch. There is dancing, laughing, smiles, and of course"swag."
There are some expressionless faces and disabilities BUT there is NO judgement, no bickering, no wallflowers, no insecurities, no fear of danger or disruption, no negativity what-so-ever.
There is a beautiful young lady sitting with her severely disabled sister, sharing her dinner, explaining to us that the uncontrolled laughter is actually a seizure. This is unconditional love. I can only think of where else this young lady could be spending her Saturday night. And yet she cradles her sisters head and wipes her face.
As the sun set, Karyn and I couldn't help but take our cameras outside to capture a sunset like no other I've seen. I believe, as I stood and looked at the beauty, it was a gift.
This is what I will take away from this night. THIS is how life should be. Who could have known that the secret lies in the simplicity of a group of young people who face challenges and obstacles so much greater than anything most of us will ever have to face.
The way I look at life has been forever changed. My heart has been touched.
